Dear _____

I miss you.
We're not the same as we used  to be.
Things have definitely changed over the past year, and as much as I've sat there talking to myself blaming you, telling myself I am the better person, that I tried as hard as I could, that I was the one who was hurt, that I could do better off without you.
We both know it's not true.
I didn't try at all to save anything.
I could feel us drifting and I leaned into it instead off pulling us back and pointing out something was wrong. I cried to people about how much I hated our falling out, but I never cried to you.
I miss you.

I know I'm not the best at keeping in contact, we both know i'll take a week to respond to a message, that I'll wait to be spoken to first instead of sparking up a conversation.
You're the confident, ambitious, drag-me-out-of-bed-to-actually-do-something, pull-me-out-of-my-comfort-zone, happy, energetic and just generally wonderful being that I need in my life to counter all my anxieties and stressfullness and Debbie-downer days.
I miss you.

I'm all about the giving, and never the take. But you were about both.
You looked out for me more than anyone ever has, and FORCED me to look out for myself every once in a while. You're the only person I know that can take a compliment so graciously without sounding stuck up, you know exactly how I take my coffee, and that candle I pointed out months before my birthday - you tracked down and surprised me with.

I don't have the best record when it comes to friendships and relationships, but I've not had someone like you in my life before.
I've been stupid and selfish and I've been waiting for an apology for something I'm half responsible for anyway. It sounds ridiculous to ask "Can we just go back to how we were?" but it would be wonderful if we could. I would hate to lose such an important person in my life.

So I would just like to take this time to tell you; I miss you. I appreciate you. I love you.